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Published on January 23rd, 2012 | by Bags Hooper


Californication Season 5 Episode 3 Rundown: Get Ready for Another Hank Downfall & Charlie’s New Super Nanny

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Tom Kapinos got back to basics in Californication Episode 5.3, “Boys & Girls.”

If I could sum up all of Hank Moody’s (David Duchovny) flaws in one all-encompassing statement, it would read: Hank Moody has a knack for screwing up good things.

In “Boys 7 Girls”, Hank finished up Samurai’s (RZA) “Santa Monica Cop” script in what can only be called record time. He was hoping to drop off the script with Sam and hop on a flight back to New York City. However, Sam wanted to read the script before he left and Kali (Meagan Good) needed someone to take her dancing. It was an all too obvious setup, when Sam inevitably asked – or rather ordered – Hank to take Kali out for the night. Sam even gave Hank his car. Really? He told someone who is relatively a stranger to take out his drop-dead-gorgeous girlfriend. Plus, Sam has read Hank’s book so he knows all of Hank’s skeletons. Who does that? Samurai Apocalypse may be a successful entrepreneur in Cali-world, but he’s not too bright.

We knew what would happen next.

Hank went to the dance club, got into a titty twister fight with someone who was flirting with Kali and then ended up sleeping with Kali in Sam’s car. Now, in your best Goodfellas or Sopranos voice, say it with me, “The balls on this guy.”

When Hank went back to Sam’s apartment, Sam put a gun to his throat and threatened him. Apparently, that’s how you show a screenwriter that you like a script when your name is Samurai Apocalypse. Sam did get the impression that Hank “knocked boots” with Kali, but Kali and Hank were able to play it off. They’re professionals.

How long will the new “Hali” affair last before Hank gets himself shot? For now, it looks as though Sam really enjoyed the script and that it will move into production.

Getting shot isn’t Hank’s only problem. He also was complicit in the gang banger attack on Tyler. He wrote the script because Sam had his thugs attack Becca’s boyfriend Tyler (Scott Michael Foster). Tyler temporarily moved in with Karen (Natascha McElhone), her husband (I still can’t believe she got married in the off season to an older version of Hank), and Becca. Then, after a gentle threat from Hank, Tyler decided to tell Becca that he cheated on her and move out. Although this is a temporary win for Hank, it will eventually backfire when the Hali affair is exposed and Sam makes a big uproar about taking care of Becca’s boyfriend.

As for Becca, she may go back to Tyler anyway. She is following in her mother’s footsteps and looking to choose the wrong man. In Becca’s words, “He was a great lover.” For Karen, that was enough. She’s still mildly flirting with Hank, which is a little irritating at this point.

Charlie Runkle (Evan Handler) is getting a new love interest that is markedly different from his escapade with porn star Daisy (Carla Gallo). He wants companionship.

“I’m old and bald and lacking in social skills.” Charlie to Hank

What he doesn’t tell Hank is that the thought of online strippers drinking their own pee tends to give him a hard on. Hank found this out the hard way (bad pun, I know, had to do it) when the two hugged.

Marcy (Pamela Adlon) and Stu (Stephen Tobolowsky) go out for a night on the town and dropped off little Stu with Charlie. Unfortunately, they forgot to bring over Stu’s blanket, causing the young boy to cry. Charlie calls Lizzie (Camilla Luddington) up to bring the blanket over and save the day. Over a glass of wine, Charlie decides to lean in and kiss Lizzie. Before she had a chance to consider kissing him back, his fingers were already inside of her.

Surprisingly, she didn’t jump back when this happened. Instead, she simply reprimanded him, letting him know that he can’t just go around “finger blasting” women. Going forward, Lizzie will most likely be the polar opposite of Daisy. She’ll teach Charlie social skills with the sternness of the Super Nanny – it’s the British accent. After all, she might as well go out with him since she’s already wiped her tears in his semen, literally. That’s still gross.

What are your thoughts so far on Californication Season 5? Do you think the series still carries the same steam of prior seasons?

“Boys & Girls” was an enjoyable episode. My only hope for this season is that Karen never sleeps with Hank. I think that dynamic needs to completely vanish for fans to continue to respect her character.

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