Top 16 Super Powers For Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse or CDC Armageddon

by Ernie Estrella on May 20, 2011 · 15 comments

in Lists, TV

#7 Absorption

absorbing man

Looking to the Absorbing Man for inspiration, being able to take on the form of metal, stone, or liquid, could prove beneficial in surviving the apocalypse. You’d have to have a utility belt holding a sample stone, brick, or metal object as part of your costume or attire 24/7, but once you power up, you can hold a stone or diamond and take on its properties and turn your hands into a Juice Weasel.

Also good for: instant food, you can keep a few gummy bears in your pocket, absorb and tear some of your hair off.

#6 Multiplication

Multiplication

X-Factor’s Jamie Madrox comes to mind, but you must wait until you’re armed before letting this brand of hell fire loose. The ability to produce real duplications of yourself would help against an onslaught of zombies. You would have to rejoin when you eat or kill those multiples that get bit, which means you’d be killing a bit of yourself. So there’s a downfall to this, but it’s a very efficient power.

Also good for: collecting firewood, scavenging, speed dating and screwing on light bulb.

#5 Liquid Metal

liquid metal terminator 2

Not only would you win in Cosplay contests for Best 90’s Villain, but being able to morph your appendages into giant blades to decapitate zombies, or skewer their brains in a blink of an eye would make you a relentless killing machine. It’s great in close quarters because it’s quick, and especially helpful when extending out a jousting blade 45-50 feet away. I realize the T-1000 was a robot, and honestly, this skill is really only possible as an actual robot (also consider the DC Comics’ Metal Men who were artificially intelligent robots). Eventually you have to let your guard down and withdraw your blades and you’d have contagious zombie blood all over your arms; unless of course you’re able to have some Simple Green handy at all times to disinfect your sharp tools after an attack.

Also good for: quieting dogs, nagging boyfriends or girlfriends; opening boxes and letters, and fighting off state governors with groping hands.

#4 Samurai Skills

samurai 1

Knowing the art of the sword and being able to wield the swift and quiet weapon of the sword would help you greatly in a zombie apocalypse. Minimal movement and discipline are desirable skills of this type of warrior in maximizing your endurance. High body counts are the specialty of samurais. If you’ve read Blade of the Immortal, the works of Kazuo Koike (Lone Wolf, Samurai Executioner) or your average Akira Kurosawa or Masaki Kobayashi samurai film, it’s kill or be killed.

Also good for: casting calls for Hollywood films starring Tom Cruise and killing guys named Bill.

#3 Natural Armor

Armor Thing

We’re looking right at the Thing or Colossus for inspiration because you’d sure like to have a form of invulnerability that can withstand the clawing and biting of a zombie. Sure, you’d be a monster too, but you’ll have all the sensitivity and psychological problems that many of these characters bear because of your hideous appearance.

Also good for: casting calls for Being Human (UK and US) and fighting the Hulk or anyone who happens to have the Hulk’s powers

#2 Pyrokinesis

pyro

Taking heat vision a step further, by being able to generate and control fire may have a bit more temptation because you could incinerate a full-scale zombie horde of 20+ in a blink of an eye.

Also good for: sanitation, keeping warm at night, providing light in caves and other dark surroundings, emphasizing Billy Joel songs, and reheating leftovers.

#1 Invisibility

invisibility

The top power desired by peeping toms is also the best resource in surviving a zombie attack. They can’t attack what they can’t see, right? Plus you can make all the funny faces and mock zombies for their slow reactions and stupidity, but you’ll never have the regret of hurting their feelings because you’ll be gone before you see them upset or frustrated. No need to worry about being found unless they smell or hear you laughing.

Also good for: sneak attacks, special effects, performing magic tricks, and hiding embarrassing tan lines.

So that’s our list, do you agree with any of them? Prefer one above all the rest, or did we completely miss something? Let’s hear what you think.

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  • larrymunashe4

    oh come on! !it would depend on the type zombie,if it can smell blood i doubt being ‘hollowman’ would help..and besides isn’t ninja… and samurai skills just tautology?

  • Arthurpprado

    where’s telekinesis? You can simply raise a finger and a huge section of land would rise to crush the zombies

  • Damoref

    What about super speed?  You can argue that flight is handy in escaping as well, but when your raiding buildings for supplies, it’d be a lot easier/safer to get in and out in under a second.  Doesn’t matter how high you can fly, if your trapped in a room theres nowhere to fly to unless you can smash through the ceiling

  • Google

    What are you guys on Invisibility really?. Zombies can always smell you. Green lantern ring beats all. You can do anything you can fly, turn nothing into a hammer, gun, shield…. being invisible won’t matter when a zombie bites your head off. they go by smell. also, if you can teleport, you can avoid the problem altogether. earth zombies can’t attack your moon base. you might also want powers to survive on the moon.
    best wishes.

    ps. RAY LEWIS IS UNDERRATED ON THIS LIST. HE IS AT LEAST #3 

  • Joseph

    Matter-eating is even more useful than depicted here! If you’re backed into a corner, in a barn or a warehouse or something, you just eat your way out! You could even eat through the dang ground if you had to. And who’s to say you couldn’t turn the tables on them and eat the zombies themselves? Bismollians can ingest all sorts of toxic substances without harm: acid, radioactive minerals, microwave pizza…they could probably eat a walker and not get the “virus” or whatever. But they’d have to be sure and EAT it, and not have sex with it; they aren’t immune to STDs.

  • ichikira

    Accelerator’s power of Vector Control (from To Aru Majutsu no Index). like natural armor without the hideous appearance, and plus the tactile-telekinesis factor that would allow you to instantly crush/rip apart any zombie you touch.

  • ichikira

    Accelerator’s power of Vector Control (from To Aru Majutsu no Index). like natural armor without the hideous appearance, and plus the tactile-telekinesis factor that would allow you to instantly crush/rip apart any zombie you touch.

  • Rrschmal

    What about spawns symbiot(or however you spell that), what about venoms, and carnage’s, you put a terminator in there, what about subzero’s ability, hell why not a super saiyan, (that ability right there is probably the best blast a small state away), why not the human torch just walk around on fire thats as hot as the sun, how about Jean greys ability to atomizing crap, the list goes on, if you can have just one ability it better be te best, invisibility is gay, you’d be better off being a ninja for the stealth and some combat ability.

  • Rrschmal

    What about spawns symbiot(or however you spell that), what about venoms, and carnage’s, you put a terminator in there, what about subzero’s ability, hell why not a super saiyan, (that ability right there is probably the best blast a small state away), why not the human torch just walk around on fire thats as hot as the sun, how about Jean greys ability to atomizing crap, the list goes on, if you can have just one ability it better be te best, invisibility is gay, you’d be better off being a ninja for the stealth and some combat ability.

  • http://twitter.com/jfrank1500 Frank

    Read Marvel Zombies. None of these powers has served

  • http://twitter.com/jfrank1500 Frank

    Read Marvel Zombies. None of these powers has served

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NM4CHQDCU4RRZ4HXBWEICQ6ZRQ Sandy Adams

    I paid $32.67 for a XBOX 360 and my mom got a 17 inch Toshiba laptop for $94.83 being delivered to our house tomorrow by FedEX. I will never again pay expensive retail prices at stores. I even sold a 46 inch HDTV to my boss for $650 and it only cost me $52.78 to get. Here is the website we using to get all this stuff, MadCent. com

  • http://www.thosedarnrobots.com/ Kyle Valenzuela

    When in doubt stab someone with liquid metal

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kenneth-Ellis/100002133277554 Kenneth Ellis

    Speaking of kinetic…I have a 4-part supernatural power, it can be displayed 4 different ways, it is a “Voice Command Ability”! It is revealed to readers in: A Kinetic Person’s Power, Sub Titled: Voice Command Ability by Kenneth Adrian Ellis!*NOTE* I hold a Certificate Of Copyright from the Library Of Congress for video footage on which I perform this ability, so it is a documented talent. Visit the following 4 links please:(1st) http://www.YouTube.com ,search: Kenneth A. Ellis, to view the Author Display Video for 1min:58sec. which is most viewed on 2 channels! (2nd) http://www.prlog.org/10285981 ,to read the press release! (3rd) http://www.BlogTalkRadio.com/Strategic-Book-Club ,to listen to the 15 minute interview on internet talk radio by “your host Bev”…the interview is under previous episodes!
    (4th) http://www.TINYURL.COM/AUTHOR-KENNETH-ELLIS ,which is the Face Book Author Fan Page, “Like” the page if you do please! Thank You!!!

  • Siobhan Phoenix

    Phasing – like Kitty Pryde (X-Men) The Ghost (Iron Man villain), Vision (Avengers), Phantom Girl (LoSH) – Zombies can’t hurt what they can’t touch :)

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