#7 Absorption
Looking to the Absorbing Man for inspiration, being able to take on the form of metal, stone, or liquid, could prove beneficial in surviving the apocalypse. You’d have to have a utility belt holding a sample stone, brick, or metal object as part of your costume or attire 24/7, but once you power up, you can hold a stone or diamond and take on its properties and turn your hands into a Juice Weasel.
Also good for: instant food, you can keep a few gummy bears in your pocket, absorb and tear some of your hair off.
#6 Multiplication
X-Factor’s Jamie Madrox comes to mind, but you must wait until you’re armed before letting this brand of hell fire loose. The ability to produce real duplications of yourself would help against an onslaught of zombies. You would have to rejoin when you eat or kill those multiples that get bit, which means you’d be killing a bit of yourself. So there’s a downfall to this, but it’s a very efficient power.
Also good for: collecting firewood, scavenging, speed dating and screwing on light bulb.
#5 Liquid Metal
Not only would you win in Cosplay contests for Best 90’s Villain, but being able to morph your appendages into giant blades to decapitate zombies, or skewer their brains in a blink of an eye would make you a relentless killing machine. It’s great in close quarters because it’s quick, and especially helpful when extending out a jousting blade 45-50 feet away. I realize the T-1000 was a robot, and honestly, this skill is really only possible as an actual robot (also consider the DC Comics’ Metal Men who were artificially intelligent robots). Eventually you have to let your guard down and withdraw your blades and you’d have contagious zombie blood all over your arms; unless of course you’re able to have some Simple Green handy at all times to disinfect your sharp tools after an attack.
Also good for: quieting dogs, nagging boyfriends or girlfriends; opening boxes and letters, and fighting off state governors with groping hands.
#4 Samurai Skills
Knowing the art of the sword and being able to wield the swift and quiet weapon of the sword would help you greatly in a zombie apocalypse. Minimal movement and discipline are desirable skills of this type of warrior in maximizing your endurance. High body counts are the specialty of samurais. If you’ve read Blade of the Immortal, the works of Kazuo Koike (Lone Wolf, Samurai Executioner) or your average Akira Kurosawa or Masaki Kobayashi samurai film, it’s kill or be killed.
Also good for: casting calls for Hollywood films starring Tom Cruise and killing guys named Bill.
#3 Natural Armor
We’re looking right at the Thing or Colossus for inspiration because you’d sure like to have a form of invulnerability that can withstand the clawing and biting of a zombie. Sure, you’d be a monster too, but you’ll have all the sensitivity and psychological problems that many of these characters bear because of your hideous appearance.
Also good for: casting calls for Being Human (UK and US) and fighting the Hulk or anyone who happens to have the Hulk’s powers
#2 Pyrokinesis
Taking heat vision a step further, by being able to generate and control fire may have a bit more temptation because you could incinerate a full-scale zombie horde of 20+ in a blink of an eye.
Also good for: sanitation, keeping warm at night, providing light in caves and other dark surroundings, emphasizing Billy Joel songs, and reheating leftovers.
#1 Invisibility
The top power desired by peeping toms is also the best resource in surviving a zombie attack. They can’t attack what they can’t see, right? Plus you can make all the funny faces and mock zombies for their slow reactions and stupidity, but you’ll never have the regret of hurting their feelings because you’ll be gone before you see them upset or frustrated. No need to worry about being found unless they smell or hear you laughing.
Also good for: sneak attacks, special effects, performing magic tricks, and hiding embarrassing tan lines.
So that’s our list, do you agree with any of them? Prefer one above all the rest, or did we completely miss something? Let’s hear what you think.
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