Top 16 Super Powers For Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse or CDC Armageddon

by Ernie Estrella on May 20, 2011 · 15 comments

in Lists, TV

#16 Matter-Eating

man eating legion of superheroes

Yes, we’re going to start here. From the Legion of Super Heroes, Tenzil Kem, AKA Matter-Eater Lad hailed from the planet Bismoil and could eat anything as a form of survival. No need for food to stay fresh, hydrated, or heated. Got some nuts and blots lying around? Food. Find a leather couch? Food. Again this does nothing in terms of ridding the world of zombies, so you’d still have to wield a gun, ax or sword and do the manual labor of clearing mutha’s out, and surviving, but matter-eating is a good resource to have especially when food is a premium and waste of time. Also related would be the powers of fellow Bismoilian, Calorie Queen who could turn caloric energy into super strength.

Also good for: absolutely nothing else.

#15 Flying

Another popular power choice in many scenarios is flight. It doesn’t help you wipe out zombies, but it does solve the problem when surrounded by the undead. If you see a horde of walkers coming at you, no problem, just hover above their reaches. It also helps when going from point A to point B wandering the world aimlessly. It’s also very green, which is important these days. No need for gas or electricity. You’d still have to your hands dirty at some point and if this is your one and only power, it’s very limited in its usefulness. I mean, even The Greatest American Hero could fly, but he too had his limits.

Also good for: avoiding bad weather, traffic jams, drying your hair, and passing gas.

#14 Green Lantern Ring

green lantern

This is a fairly obvious one, but a power ring that can manifest whatever the mind and will can create. It does need to be recharged, but does not need electricity. Once again, another green solution! You do have to be noble and prove yourself worthy though to get one. That’s provided that someone else isn’t this galaxy’s guardian. It’s a tough gig to get but wow, one can’t beat the benefits.

Also good for: making ridiculous bets with friends, creating giant green boxing gloves and hands, replacing missing board game pieces.

#13 Ninja Skills

ninja Sho Kosugi

The art of stealth and camouflage would help in a bind when needing to sneak around at night, figuring alternative ways around obstacles. There are four roles of being a ninja: Espionage, Sabotage, Assassination, and Countermeasures and you would need to master all of them. However, in the case of a zombie world, espionage and assassination would be the most useful including the art of stealth. You can’t always hack and slash your way out of a situation so sometimes the best method is the most silent.

Also good for: dressing up at Chris Farley and Sho Kosugi conventions, appearing in $45M futuristic westerns, and hell, damn near anything.

#12 Teleportation

counselor troi teleporting

Another commodity is the ability to teleport as a way of transportation. It’s quicker than flying and uses far less energy. Plus when you fly, you have to determine whether to do it standing or in the swimming position. Anyway, we look to Marvel’s Hellstorm in particular for a specific level of teleportation. He could not only teleport himself, but other beings and objects. Imagine teleporting all of the zombies to war-torn countries, the sun, Justin Beiber’s house or Snooki’s closet.

Also good for: garbage disposal, corpse disposal, whale transportation, avoiding lines at the US/Mexican border.

#11 Heat Vision

superman heat-vision

This has to be one of the top super skills or powers you’d want especially at a far range because you could knock walkers out at the top of a building, or as close as 100 yards away. You’d basically just need to melt their brains or if you’re running late, just ignite their entire head. It’s not the fastest way to kill a zombie but it can be the neatest. The only problem is if you are snuck up on or are suddenly awoken. You need clear focus and vision to wipe zombies out.

Also good for: It’s also good for picking locks, reheating leftovers, creating steam and boiling water.

#10 Kinetic Energy

gambit kinetic energy

Like Gambit of the X-Men, manipulating kinetic energy can help charge any inanimate object and turn it into a weapon when thrown. This power would require lots of practice to master so that’s why it’s much lower on the scale. Surviving a zombie holocaust doesn’t always afford the luxury of honing super powers, but with enough practice, this could be a cool ability. You can travel with a deck of cards and turn them into 52 explosives with a flick of the wrist. Jam it in a zombie’s rotting head and blammo! One could even combine this with the skill of an archer for quieter and more accurate attacks.

Also good for: when you run out of batteries and filling up energon cubes (Transformers).

#9 Ray Lewis

Ray Lewis

Whether he’s beheading quarterbacks or talking to bears, Ray Lewis is up to some mystical $#&%! Look at those Old Spice commercials. Would you mess with a guy who has several heads growing out of his shoulders with lightning coming out of his mouth? Neither would we.

Also good: if you need to beat a murder rap.

#8 Healing Power or Regeneration

Wolverine Healing

So you get bit. Big deal, it’ll heal. So your arm gets torn off. You’ll grow another. No more sunken eyes for you. Logan’s mutant healing power is cool, but only when you add it with all of the other stuff Wolverine can do. Still, it’s a damn good power to have for keeping your body intact. Just take a note from True Blood, and wait until after you lose your virginity for this power.

Also good for: when contracting venereal diseases, erasing bad tattoos, shaving accidents and annoying paper cuts.

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  • larrymunashe4

    oh come on! !it would depend on the type zombie,if it can smell blood i doubt being ‘hollowman’ would help..and besides isn’t ninja… and samurai skills just tautology?

  • Arthurpprado

    where’s telekinesis? You can simply raise a finger and a huge section of land would rise to crush the zombies

  • Damoref

    What about super speed?  You can argue that flight is handy in escaping as well, but when your raiding buildings for supplies, it’d be a lot easier/safer to get in and out in under a second.  Doesn’t matter how high you can fly, if your trapped in a room theres nowhere to fly to unless you can smash through the ceiling

  • Google

    What are you guys on Invisibility really?. Zombies can always smell you. Green lantern ring beats all. You can do anything you can fly, turn nothing into a hammer, gun, shield…. being invisible won’t matter when a zombie bites your head off. they go by smell. also, if you can teleport, you can avoid the problem altogether. earth zombies can’t attack your moon base. you might also want powers to survive on the moon.
    best wishes.

    ps. RAY LEWIS IS UNDERRATED ON THIS LIST. HE IS AT LEAST #3 

  • Joseph

    Matter-eating is even more useful than depicted here! If you’re backed into a corner, in a barn or a warehouse or something, you just eat your way out! You could even eat through the dang ground if you had to. And who’s to say you couldn’t turn the tables on them and eat the zombies themselves? Bismollians can ingest all sorts of toxic substances without harm: acid, radioactive minerals, microwave pizza…they could probably eat a walker and not get the “virus” or whatever. But they’d have to be sure and EAT it, and not have sex with it; they aren’t immune to STDs.

  • ichikira

    Accelerator’s power of Vector Control (from To Aru Majutsu no Index). like natural armor without the hideous appearance, and plus the tactile-telekinesis factor that would allow you to instantly crush/rip apart any zombie you touch.

  • ichikira

    Accelerator’s power of Vector Control (from To Aru Majutsu no Index). like natural armor without the hideous appearance, and plus the tactile-telekinesis factor that would allow you to instantly crush/rip apart any zombie you touch.

  • Rrschmal

    What about spawns symbiot(or however you spell that), what about venoms, and carnage’s, you put a terminator in there, what about subzero’s ability, hell why not a super saiyan, (that ability right there is probably the best blast a small state away), why not the human torch just walk around on fire thats as hot as the sun, how about Jean greys ability to atomizing crap, the list goes on, if you can have just one ability it better be te best, invisibility is gay, you’d be better off being a ninja for the stealth and some combat ability.

  • Rrschmal

    What about spawns symbiot(or however you spell that), what about venoms, and carnage’s, you put a terminator in there, what about subzero’s ability, hell why not a super saiyan, (that ability right there is probably the best blast a small state away), why not the human torch just walk around on fire thats as hot as the sun, how about Jean greys ability to atomizing crap, the list goes on, if you can have just one ability it better be te best, invisibility is gay, you’d be better off being a ninja for the stealth and some combat ability.

  • http://twitter.com/jfrank1500 Frank

    Read Marvel Zombies. None of these powers has served

  • http://twitter.com/jfrank1500 Frank

    Read Marvel Zombies. None of these powers has served

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NM4CHQDCU4RRZ4HXBWEICQ6ZRQ Sandy Adams

    I paid $32.67 for a XBOX 360 and my mom got a 17 inch Toshiba laptop for $94.83 being delivered to our house tomorrow by FedEX. I will never again pay expensive retail prices at stores. I even sold a 46 inch HDTV to my boss for $650 and it only cost me $52.78 to get. Here is the website we using to get all this stuff, MadCent. com

  • http://www.thosedarnrobots.com/ Kyle Valenzuela

    When in doubt stab someone with liquid metal

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kenneth-Ellis/100002133277554 Kenneth Ellis

    Speaking of kinetic…I have a 4-part supernatural power, it can be displayed 4 different ways, it is a “Voice Command Ability”! It is revealed to readers in: A Kinetic Person’s Power, Sub Titled: Voice Command Ability by Kenneth Adrian Ellis!*NOTE* I hold a Certificate Of Copyright from the Library Of Congress for video footage on which I perform this ability, so it is a documented talent. Visit the following 4 links please:(1st) http://www.YouTube.com ,search: Kenneth A. Ellis, to view the Author Display Video for 1min:58sec. which is most viewed on 2 channels! (2nd) http://www.prlog.org/10285981 ,to read the press release! (3rd) http://www.BlogTalkRadio.com/Strategic-Book-Club ,to listen to the 15 minute interview on internet talk radio by “your host Bev”…the interview is under previous episodes!
    (4th) http://www.TINYURL.COM/AUTHOR-KENNETH-ELLIS ,which is the Face Book Author Fan Page, “Like” the page if you do please! Thank You!!!

  • Siobhan Phoenix

    Phasing – like Kitty Pryde (X-Men) The Ghost (Iron Man villain), Vision (Avengers), Phantom Girl (LoSH) – Zombies can’t hurt what they can’t touch :)

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