#16 Matter-Eating
Yes, we’re going to start here. From the Legion of Super Heroes, Tenzil Kem, AKA Matter-Eater Lad hailed from the planet Bismoil and could eat anything as a form of survival. No need for food to stay fresh, hydrated, or heated. Got some nuts and blots lying around? Food. Find a leather couch? Food. Again this does nothing in terms of ridding the world of zombies, so you’d still have to wield a gun, ax or sword and do the manual labor of clearing mutha’s out, and surviving, but matter-eating is a good resource to have especially when food is a premium and waste of time. Also related would be the powers of fellow Bismoilian, Calorie Queen who could turn caloric energy into super strength.
Also good for: absolutely nothing else.
#15 Flying
Another popular power choice in many scenarios is flight. It doesn’t help you wipe out zombies, but it does solve the problem when surrounded by the undead. If you see a horde of walkers coming at you, no problem, just hover above their reaches. It also helps when going from point A to point B wandering the world aimlessly. It’s also very green, which is important these days. No need for gas or electricity. You’d still have to your hands dirty at some point and if this is your one and only power, it’s very limited in its usefulness. I mean, even The Greatest American Hero could fly, but he too had his limits.
Also good for: avoiding bad weather, traffic jams, drying your hair, and passing gas.
#14 Green Lantern Ring
This is a fairly obvious one, but a power ring that can manifest whatever the mind and will can create. It does need to be recharged, but does not need electricity. Once again, another green solution! You do have to be noble and prove yourself worthy though to get one. That’s provided that someone else isn’t this galaxy’s guardian. It’s a tough gig to get but wow, one can’t beat the benefits.
Also good for: making ridiculous bets with friends, creating giant green boxing gloves and hands, replacing missing board game pieces.
#13 Ninja Skills
The art of stealth and camouflage would help in a bind when needing to sneak around at night, figuring alternative ways around obstacles. There are four roles of being a ninja: Espionage, Sabotage, Assassination, and Countermeasures and you would need to master all of them. However, in the case of a zombie world, espionage and assassination would be the most useful including the art of stealth. You can’t always hack and slash your way out of a situation so sometimes the best method is the most silent.
Also good for: dressing up at Chris Farley and Sho Kosugi conventions, appearing in $45M futuristic westerns, and hell, damn near anything.
#12 Teleportation
Another commodity is the ability to teleport as a way of transportation. It’s quicker than flying and uses far less energy. Plus when you fly, you have to determine whether to do it standing or in the swimming position. Anyway, we look to Marvel’s Hellstorm in particular for a specific level of teleportation. He could not only teleport himself, but other beings and objects. Imagine teleporting all of the zombies to war-torn countries, the sun, Justin Beiber’s house or Snooki’s closet.
Also good for: garbage disposal, corpse disposal, whale transportation, avoiding lines at the US/Mexican border.
#11 Heat Vision
This has to be one of the top super skills or powers you’d want especially at a far range because you could knock walkers out at the top of a building, or as close as 100 yards away. You’d basically just need to melt their brains or if you’re running late, just ignite their entire head. It’s not the fastest way to kill a zombie but it can be the neatest. The only problem is if you are snuck up on or are suddenly awoken. You need clear focus and vision to wipe zombies out.
Also good for: It’s also good for picking locks, reheating leftovers, creating steam and boiling water.
#10 Kinetic Energy
Like Gambit of the X-Men, manipulating kinetic energy can help charge any inanimate object and turn it into a weapon when thrown. This power would require lots of practice to master so that’s why it’s much lower on the scale. Surviving a zombie holocaust doesn’t always afford the luxury of honing super powers, but with enough practice, this could be a cool ability. You can travel with a deck of cards and turn them into 52 explosives with a flick of the wrist. Jam it in a zombie’s rotting head and blammo! One could even combine this with the skill of an archer for quieter and more accurate attacks.
Also good for: when you run out of batteries and filling up energon cubes (Transformers).
#9 Ray Lewis
Whether he’s beheading quarterbacks or talking to bears, Ray Lewis is up to some mystical $#&%! Look at those Old Spice commercials. Would you mess with a guy who has several heads growing out of his shoulders with lightning coming out of his mouth? Neither would we.
Also good: if you need to beat a murder rap.
#8 Healing Power or Regeneration
So you get bit. Big deal, it’ll heal. So your arm gets torn off. You’ll grow another. No more sunken eyes for you. Logan’s mutant healing power is cool, but only when you add it with all of the other stuff Wolverine can do. Still, it’s a damn good power to have for keeping your body intact. Just take a note from True Blood, and wait until after you lose your virginity for this power.
Also good for: when contracting venereal diseases, erasing bad tattoos, shaving accidents and annoying paper cuts.
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