Californication Season 3 Episode 6 (Lead In): Glass Houses - Soiled Sheet Roster

Sheeee’s ba-ack!

I was about ninety-nine percent through Californication Season 3 Episode 5, ready to scream “Filler Episode,” when up pops Karen. That’s right, after four episodes of long-distance flirtatious phone calls, Hank’s soul-mate, Karen, is back in LA. Unfortunately for Hank, but fortunate for the drama-lusting fans, Karen’s return couldn’t come at a more inconvenient time.

Hank doesn’t have one girl on the side; no, a love triangle would be too easy. Two-side mistresses? Sorry, that’s a walk in the park. Hank is going for a personal record with a love pentagon that would make infamous polygamist Brigham Young jealous.

Who’s on Hank’s soiled-sheets roster? At the top of the list we have life-long love and mother of his child, Karen. She’s the point-guard of the team; always reliable, Karen maintains order in Hank’s life of misadventures. Then, we have Jill, Hank’s TA and all around shooting guard. You may not see her coming, but Jill will pop in to rack up a high volume of shots all over campus. Jill is a perimeter player, but don’t think she won’t get dirty when feelings arise. Coming in for position three, is short forward Felicia. She’s got a man, who did her wrong. Felicia’s get-out-of-jail-free card gives her the perfect opportunity to score through quick cuts and dribble penetration. Next up is Hank’s spry perky-nippled student and part-time stripper, Jackie. She’s the power forward. There is no shame in Jackie’s game. She doesn’t hide her feelings, but plays directly under the basket. Now, Jackie has declared Hank her boyfriend. It’s all about up-close-and-personal man-to-girl game with Jackie. Of course, Hank’s the center. He’s just the guy waiting to make the slamdunk. And, Hank will make that dunk every time. It’s the All-Star team of dreams.

Will Hank need to get a sixth player on his team for injured reserve? We’ll find out soon enough. With Karen in town, all of our Californicated ladies will need to find comfort elsewhere. But, the question is, how long can Hank maintain peace and anonymity on his team to keep his roster scoring?

In Californication Season 3 Episode 6, “Glass Houses,” Karen hatches a plan to move the family back to New York for good. Hank’s mighty pleased, but Becca’s crestfallen about leaving her new best friend, Chelsea (Ellen Davis Woglom). After inviting herself to Hank’s class, Karen meets the comely ladies of the university: T.A. Jill Robinson (Diane Farr) and sexpot student Jackie (Eva Amurri). Later on, tempers flare when Becca and Chelsea get into some serious trouble and Hank and Karen are forced to pay a tense visit to Chelsea’s parents, Felicia and Stacy Koons (Embeth Davidtz, Peter Gallagher).

Charlie is crushed when Marcy loudly consummates her girlhood-crush on Rick Springfield (Rick Springfield). But Sue Collini (Kathleen Turner) thinks up a creative way to restore Charlie’s confidence.