Something tells me that Michael Bay and Stephen Spielberg and everyone else behind the creation of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen didn’t get the memo that ‘less is more.’
Nope. Instead of learning what didn’t work for 2007’s Transformers, Bay and cohorts took all the things that sucked about that movie and amplified them about 10 times for the encore.
Of course, my expectations going in were appropriately set low. The first film only got one thing right: Peter Cullen to voice Optimus Prime. That’s it. The rest was a Tazmanian Devil-like windstorm of bad dialogue and distant storytelling that felt about as much like the Transformers as watching the Go-Bots did.
But how are you going to ignore the alleged biggest blockbuster of the summer? You can’t; you simply buy your ticket and report to the long line outside the theater like the rest of the lemmings. The tractor beam of this Death Star cannot be avoided.
But at least being pulled aboard the real Death Star would allow you to see some cool stuff (you know, like Darth Vader force-choking some of his minions). Once your plumped into your seat for ‘Fallen,’ you’re in for a 2 hour and 45 minute smorgasbord of over-the-top action and unspeakable bad jokes and dialogue. Oh, and for good measure, Bay and friends did one-up on George Lucas’ Episode I and threw in not one, but two robots that make Jar Jar Binks look like one of the most beloved characters in cinematic history. Those robots that I speak of are the Twins, Mudflap and Skids, two street-talking jesters that actually had gold, buck-teeth and played on racial stereotypes like it was nobody’s business. Unbelievable.
And when I say the action was over-the-top, this stems more from a personal preference. Bay is obviously adept at framing and setting up impressive action sequences, but I believe there is also merit (and art) in executing these in more of a subtle fashion. Some of the scenes I actually did like in the film were just simple chase sequences where the robots did simple transformations and everything on the screen wasn’t blowing up.
The action in Fallen is actually exhausting and many of the scenes would’ve worked better if they just simply just made them shorter. The sense of urgency is lost once you see fighting robots throw 25 punches only to find out that they can rip each other’s heads off with their bare hands. This happens at least 5 times. And except for Optimus Prime, Bumblebee and a few others, most of the robots look so similar in the choppy, edited sequences, that it’s hard to determine who exactly is fighting and who is actually winning.
As for the human players in this game, their contributions range from non-existent to hyperbolic. Shia Lebeouf doesn’t get enough runway to dish his trademark quirky charm in this one. Tyrese Gibson and Josh Duhamel are back, but they don’t do much other than provide some inconsequential firepower. John Turturro also returns as Agent Simmons and is again wacky in an “enough, already” kind of way. Even if his is not my style of humor, I give him credit for at least looking alive out there. Of course, Megan Fox is also back in the role that made her famous and the movie wastes no time showing her off in the most revealing, exploitative ways.
Revenge of the Fallen is a big-scale square-peg blockbuster that treats each member of its audience like a 7 year old boy. I’m not going to tell you to completely avoid seeing it, but please prepare yourself for a marathon of bad dialogue and repetitive, redundant action sequences. It could’ve easily been more if things were simplified, but toning things down doesn’t sell tickets, does it?
6.5 stars out of 10.
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