Spider-Man Marriage : One Big What If? Scandal

Whether you’re a comic fan or just an average moviegoer, you’ve probably heard the name Spider-Man. It’s more than a name, it’s a cult phenomena. The story of a high school nerd named Peter Parker, who gets bitten by a radioactive spider and is infused with spider-like powers. One day he witnesses a crime, but refuses to catch the thief. That same thief kills Parker’s Uncle Ben only a few weeks later.

Now, Parker lives by the motto “With great power comes great responsibility.” He lives with his Aunty May, takes freelance photos for the Daily Bugle, fights nasty super-villains, and occassionally teams up with some of the greatest heroes on the block. And one day Parker married his child crush, a model named Mary Jane Watson. NOT!

That’s how Marvel comics decided to start the New Year. In Amazing Spider-Man #545 Spidey cuts a deal with demon kingpin Mephisto. In exchange for the life of Aunt May, who was shot after Spider-Man told the world his secret identity, Peter Parker sacrifices his marriage to Mary Jane. That’s right. Over 20 years of comic history wiped out in the blink of an eye.

They should call Amazing Spider-Man the “Amazing What If?” That’s what this title has become. There’s no integrity. For over 20 years, we read a story about “What If Peter Parker Married Mary Jane Watson?” Sound familiar? Well Marvel pulled a similar stunt only a decade back. It was called “Maximum Clonage” or better “Maximum Calamity.” In that story, Marvel told us that Peter Parker wasn’t really Spider-Man, just a clone of the real deal.

Then Marvel relaunched the Spider-Man title with Peter Parker back as the original. Why does Marvel have to keep relaunching the Spidey series? Because they’re afraid to do anything “real” with the character. Outside of the death of Gwen Stacy and Uncle Ben, pretty much anything that happens in the Spider-Man title can be undone with a good ol’ fashioned reboot. During the “Civil War” saga, when Spider-Man revealed his identity, fans wondered how Marvel would clean this up. Most new that Spidey’s identity wouldn’t stay “exposed” for long. Just like characters don’t stay “dead” for long.

Then Aunt May was shot, and Spidey became one of the baddest heroes out there. He started taking the fight directly to the villains and nearly killed the Kingpin. This was easily one of the most exciting story arcs of 2007. And in the blink of an eye it was GONE like Keyser Söze.

Wouldn’t it have just been easier to let Aunt May die than disappoint fans? It’s one thing to find a clever way to ressurrect a dead character after say a decade, but to say your flagship character Spider-Man goes around making deals with the devil to reboot his title is just terrible.

I wanted to express my dismay over the choice to erase Spidey’s marriage to Mary Jane right after issue #545 hit the streets, but I decided to wait for issue #546 - the start of the “Brand New Day” story arc. Then it was official. Everything that happened didn’t happen. Now that Spidey has made a deal with the “devil” he is back to having his secret identity.

Plus Harry Osborne is also back. The second Green Goblin was resurrected due to the marriage erasure.

In Amazing Spider-Man issue #546 they write, “Although some people seem to recall that Spidey unmasked himself during the civil war, no one quite remembers whose face was under the mask.”

Marvel claims they did this to help pull in the younger audience. Editor-in-chief Joe Quesada said, “Ultimately we have to do this to keep this character fresh for this generation and generations to come.”

Basically, capitalism reigns over good story writing.

Why not create an alternate comic for new fans and keep Spidey with his current edge? Oh well, what edge? It’s too late, there’s no reversal to this, because it never happened. What is done cannot be undone.

You know, I wonder if the whole “Evolution” saga never happened too?

Oh well, time to recycle all the old Spidey stories, and rewrite them without Spidey having a wife. Maybe the next twist will be that Spidey is really an alien from the Shi’ar Empire? Then he can cut a side deal with the devil to be a real boy like Pinocchio.