Sigh.. Another Monday without a new “Heroes” episode. Who would’ve known that NBC’s new drama would have viewers this hooked like artist Isaac Mendez on heroin. Anyway, since I’ve realized my genetic shortcomings and can’t make the next 3 weeks go by with the wink of an eye like Hiro, I decided to entertain myself with a list of most needed Heroes Powers in the corporate workplace.
Here goes:
10. Send Jessica into work instead of yourself while you just hang-out at home all day in your mirrors.
9. Matthew Parkman your way into your boss’ mind. Proceed to do the opposite of what they want. Laugh as you watch him/her get pissed off.
8. Not Going anywhere for a while??? Be Hiro and teleport yourself to the end of meetings.
7. Who needs that nasty microwave in the kitchen? Cook up your own meals in your cube with fire generated by your hands. Don’t forget the hamburger buns and condiments from home.
6. Traffic, Smaffic… Fly to work.. Nathan Petrelli style.
5. No need to touch those nasty doorknobs in the men’s room.. just walk through the door like D.L.
4. Curse out your boss, smack ‘em around, surf the web all day… then use your Haitian abilities… go DEEP and wipe ‘em clean.
3. Pesky boss/co-worker keeps bothering you to do actual work? Pull an invisible man anytime someone approaches your desk. Re-appear at the close of business in the elevator.
2. Channel your inner Micah Sanders… Manipulate your computer to do the work for you.
1. Paint the future like Isaac Mendez, see what your next raise is going to be… Apply for new job if results not good. rinse and repeat.
Did I miss anything?
How about Candice’s power… you could totally make it appear like you’re doing work.. when in fact your just taking a nap all day
Peter’s power should be #1
ahh, if only I could be Peter Petrelli
sign me up for no. 4!
I’ve heard the “Sylar” is Peter in the future before. But that was put to sleep sometime after Tim Kring finally let us see Sylar’s face, which coincided with the first “6 months ago” flashback episode.
Uh-oh.. It seems that this innocent, fun article triggered the ‘ol “how the powers really work” argument that has been rearing it’s ugly head heer and there, especially during the little dead periods.. There are all sorts of speculations and every side has been able to make good points. Here are some of them:
* Hiro really doesn’t have any powers and, if he does, Ando is the one that unlocks it from him or, better yet, he IS the source of his powers!
* Sylar’s power isn’t simply absorbing the powers of others. Somewhere in there, the symbolism of clocks comes into play. Could it simply be that he can dissect things and reassemble them with ease or is it more?
* Sylar is Peter in the future!
* Ronald McDonald is secretly Sylar.
* Peter is secretly evil and Sylar is going to save the day, unless he is stopped somehow - OH NOES!
* BVD’s really are comfortable underwear.
…The list goes on and on. As it is, my IRC channel on irc.funnet.org (#nof) and forums (http://forums.n-o-f.com) have been inundated with the discussions. It’s definitely the water cooler discussion material of the day. I mean, not even Lost has generated so much buzz with all their twists and turns. The big difference is that Heroes alludes to a lot but doesn’t ever fully commit, so there is always a possibility that maybe, just maybe, we got things figured out wrong. Next season is going to be BONKERS!
BTW, Isaac is clean now. He really is.. REALLY! *puts the coke away* What? I’m not credible?? WHATEVER! =o/
On another note, I must say, I like Harry T’s suggestions. ;o)
Bags - I actually meant Claire’s biological mom… but that radioactive hamburger is pretty funny.
Rahim - Good call although that would make it a “Top 1″ list.
PetersGhost - I left Peter and Syler off the list because they absorb/learn their powers from the other Heroes.
ha ha. ok, how’s this -
PETER COMBO
1) Paint a picture of when your boss will be arriving to work
2) Fly like Nathan P., Take a leak on your boss from overhead as he enters the building.
3) Turn invisible so when he gets irrate and starts waving his hand in the air madly he doesn’t see you. ditch the flight
4) As you spiral towards earth rematerialize and turn on Jessica strength for a deadly blow to your boss’s head.
5)Travel back in time like Hiro and repeat, till 100% satisfied
Eeek, how violent
Yea, if anything you could be like Sylar, listen by the bathroom door to see when your boss is leaving, then the minute he is about to pull the door open, you quick change into Jessica (after taking her powers of course) and ram through the door giving him the biggest head bruise ever.
Whoa whoa whoa. How the heck do you have a Heroes list without Peter or Sylar. INCOMPLETE!!!!
That’s a waste of Isaac’s powers anyway. If anything you’d get the lotto numbers
Dude, your like totally off base. Isaac’s power’s don’t work like that
Fire generated from your hands? Ted’s radioactive. you must be watching too much Spider-Man… hoping that a radioactive hamburger will give you the power of the Cow.