As we near the end of the sixth season of 24, the Bag Man thought it prudent to reflect on the top ten torture methods on 24.
Here goes:
10. Having a butter knife held up to your eye, while Jack says, “You know how this works, first I cut out your left eye, then the right!”
9. Waiting for the emotionless Burke to prepare one of his infamous syringes of hyocine-pentothal to induce pain.
8. Suffering through two years of Chinese torture, so horrible that it only made it to the unauthorized 24 season 5.5 DVD release. Available only in China.
7. Getting tortured by Stark under the authority of Peter Kingsley in season 2. First you get stripped butt naked followed by induced vomitting. Stark procedes to slice you in the abdomen with a scalpel dipped in ammonia. Then, if that doesn’t work, you get burned with a hot cauterizer in the open wound, while gagged so you lose breath. Finish it off with a double taser shot that cause your eyes to roll back. The only thing that can save you now from certain death is a defibrillator and some handy epinephrine.
6. Feeling like you’re on “Press Your Luck” during the pattened 24, 4-way split screens. Up on the board we have Jack Bauer, President Palmer, Kim Bauer, and the terrorists. Your heart silently cries, “No wammy, no wammy, no wammy, STOP!” Then getting stuck with the another painful Kim Bauer “I’m in trouble and this has nothing to do with the actual plot” scene. WAMMY. Why can’t she just listen to Jack?
5. Hearing Curtis’ say one of many variations of the phrase “I don’t like it.” (listen to his dialogue, you’ll see)
4. Being forced to live under President Logan’s administration. Could you imagine another “Four more years?”
3. Learning that Nina Meyers - the woman you slept with during the brief period you seperated from your wife, worked side-by side-with and trusted - killed your wife.
2. Being forced to sleep with Nina Meyers, in exchange for information, as a matter of national security after learning that she killed your wife.
And the Number 1 All-time method of torture on 24 is:
1. Listening to Sherry Palmer’s loathsome voice over and over and over again, as she chatters about how the nation and David Palmer need her so desperately.
Honorable mention goes to - Hearing Dina yell out her son’s name in season 4, “BEEEEEHROOOOOZ!” But, that may be more comic relief than torture.
So, what do you think. Leave me a message and let me know your thoughts. Or, stop by the New Buzzfocus Forum.
