Star Power - A Stain on Voice Acting…

 Voice Acting. A field that’s blind to gender, race and an entire list of phenotypes. The last bastion of hope for the no name, unmarketable face, “you don’t have quite what we’re looking for” actor and actress. A man can be the voice behind an old woman, like Brad Bird as Edna ‘E’ Mode in “The Incredibles.” Women can be the voice of young boys like Charlie Brown and Bart Simpson. Elmyra, the cuddly wuddly caucasian terror from Tiny Toons, can be voiced by Cree Summers, an African-American actress.

But is it me, or is everyone tired of seeing these name brand actors show up in animated features as type cast personalities. Who cares if the happy go lucky Fresh Prince of Bell Air is the voice of a fish in “Shark Tale?” Cameron Diaz as Fiona in Shrek? What a waste. And who really wants to see the legendary Young Gun Kiefer Sutherland as the father lion in “The Wild.”? Not THE BAG MAN.

Don’t get me wrong. The Bag Man can’t get enough of Keifer Sutherland. But, I want to see Keifer. I want to see that expression on Kiefer’s face as the true last action hero from “Young Guns” as he says “Billy, YOU ARE NOT A GOD.” THAT’S KIEFER. Fast forward to present day Kiefer as Jack Bauer in “24.” I LOVE IT.

But wannabe Mufasa Lion King saying “we’ve got to find my son” or “I’ve got Ryan’s scent.” SNOOZE. As I wake up to wipe the popcorn and spilled soda from my lap, I hear Kiefer yell “Everybody stay calm,” while backing away from two animated crocodiles. BAAAH.

It’s just not the same as seeing Jack B’s face when he says “WHERE’S MY DAUGHTER” to some despicable kidnapper. Or “I’ve got the terrorist location.” Or saying “Everybody stay calm,” with guns blazing and a nuclear bomb about to go off. That’s Kiefer. So why waste the money? Keep him on screen.

What happened to the 80s when no name voice over talents had TALENT. That’s how they got the job. Eddie Murphy as donkey (in “SHREK”) and Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots (in “SHREK 2″) withstanding, this last two year barrage of 20 million dollar actors is a disgrace to the voice profession. No wonder why CG films have been reduced to just fad entertainment - born from pseudo-Pixars. The Bag Man sees through your illusions, so STOP trying to cover up a poorly scripted, cliche story with a big name voice. Let’s get back to basics and hire people because they deserve the spot and NOT because they’re an award nominee. And hey, if you want to give a more talented actor 20 Million GO AHEAD. Just don’t pay 20 Million dollars to create a diversion. Kudos to the Transformers team for NOT casting Mel Gibson or Russell Crow as the voice of Optimus Prime in the upcoming “Transformers” movie. Peter Cullen. Optimus Prime. 2007. The Bag Man can’t wait.